This is an old story from April of this year. It still makes me laugh, which I really need right now, considering we have just switched to once-a-day milking, because the 'girls' are drying up, in preparation for the soon-to-begin kidding season.
"A Never-Ending Cycle"
(originally posted on FanStory.com in April 2009)
Anyone who is familiar with my life story by now knows I milk dairy goats for a living. At times it seems to be all I ever do, taking four hours twice a day just to milk from start to finish. Then there are babies to feed, weaned babies and dry goats (goats who haven't given birth yet) to feed hay, grain and water, goats to bed up with dry cornstalks, new babies to bring in and vaccinate -- it's a never ending cycle.
Last night, still recovering from a flu bug going around this area, my feet were dragging. My son, Sam, started milking but he had to leave to go to his girlfriend's high school play. My other son, Joel, was also in the play, and my husband, Paul, left on a service call for his electrical business.
By the time Paul got home, I'd been milking alone for almost three hours. He told me later he was surprised how many goats were left in the holding pen waiting to be milked, but thought it was understandable considering I'd been feeling under the weather.
We milked a little longer, and noticed some of the goats had very little milk. We were both concerned. There is a virus that can run through a herd, causing almost instant fall in production and our neighbor told us his herd was having problems.
"We'd better call 'Connell' (our vet)," Paul said.
"I agree," I said. "This doe here has hardly any milk at all."
Several hours later, I went and chased the last group into the parlor. As my husband finished up, I went into the barn to fill the water tubs by the far edge of the holding pen. To my surprise, the holding area was full of goats!
It was then I saw it. The gate that separates the goats who are already milked from the ones waiting to be milked was not properly chained shut, leaving an eight-inch gap, just big enough for goats to leave the milking parlor, walk back around the corner, and squeeze back into the holding area.
Yes, we'd been milking the same goats twice. For two extra hours. They love coming into the parlor to get the grain we feed while they are standing to be milked, so they were having a wonderful time!
And I sometimes wonder why I never get anything else done.
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Monday, November 2, 2009
Friday, September 5, 2008
Goats For Hire
The other day on the radio, the commentator explained the difference between poor and broke. "Poor is a state of mind that will keep you there forever," he said. "Broke is a temporary situation, able to be changed if you try hard enough. It's all in your mind-set."
Okay, I'm broke. Rising fuel and livestock costs have brought us to the brink of disaster in the goat milk production business. Our does eat one large square bale of hay a day. The same bale we bought last year for $45 now costs $70 to $100. They eat four pounds of grain a day. I won't bore you with the details. Grain has tripled in price. Those of you familiar with the Rainbow Gate Farm goats know how much they care about me. The rest of you are about to find out.
Yesterday, I went to the barn. The girls were gone! Imagine my shock when I found this note nestled in the hay: Dear Jani,We know times are hard. They must be. You have cut back the amount of grain you feed us! Normally we would simply kidnap you again, or stop milking altogether. But we heard you talking to your two-legged mate about having to sell the farm. We know really bad things happen to goats who leave their farm, and besides - we've grown fond of you.
Please look outside and you will discover our new second job! That's right! We are now officially the "Roofing & Construction Does of Rainbow Gate Farm!" No job too steep. No need to take out expensive insurance. We never fall! We never fail! Love from Cinderella, Egg-Yolk, Red, and 247 other does who wish to remain anonymous.
So all my problems are solved. I plan to put up fliers everywhere, then sit back and wait for the calls to come rolling in. Of course, with their sharp hooves and tendency to nibble anything they can fit in their mouths, I might be better off renting them out as demolition workers.
Just look at those girls on top of the barn roof! It's such a relief. For a while there, I thought I might have to get a real job!
Okay, I'm broke. Rising fuel and livestock costs have brought us to the brink of disaster in the goat milk production business. Our does eat one large square bale of hay a day. The same bale we bought last year for $45 now costs $70 to $100. They eat four pounds of grain a day. I won't bore you with the details. Grain has tripled in price. Those of you familiar with the Rainbow Gate Farm goats know how much they care about me. The rest of you are about to find out.
Yesterday, I went to the barn. The girls were gone! Imagine my shock when I found this note nestled in the hay: Dear Jani,We know times are hard. They must be. You have cut back the amount of grain you feed us! Normally we would simply kidnap you again, or stop milking altogether. But we heard you talking to your two-legged mate about having to sell the farm. We know really bad things happen to goats who leave their farm, and besides - we've grown fond of you.
Please look outside and you will discover our new second job! That's right! We are now officially the "Roofing & Construction Does of Rainbow Gate Farm!" No job too steep. No need to take out expensive insurance. We never fall! We never fail! Love from Cinderella, Egg-Yolk, Red, and 247 other does who wish to remain anonymous.
So all my problems are solved. I plan to put up fliers everywhere, then sit back and wait for the calls to come rolling in. Of course, with their sharp hooves and tendency to nibble anything they can fit in their mouths, I might be better off renting them out as demolition workers.
Just look at those girls on top of the barn roof! It's such a relief. For a while there, I thought I might have to get a real job!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Cheese, Please Louise!
I wrote this story a few months back on the writing site, FanStory. Thought you might enjoy it! :-) I was really enjoying telling you about our cheese, when Louise the Saanen doe took over!
Goat cheese, please! Hot toasted cheese sandwiches; melted cheese on a baked potato; sliced cheddar cheese sandwich on fresh oven-baked bread. I’ve loved cheese since childhood. Blue cheese, camenbert, brie - I could go on and on. But I never imagined I would end up being a producer for one of the biggest goat-cheese factories in the United States, "Mt. Chevre Creamery," in Wisconsin. Mt Chevre is owned by two French brothers, Arnaud and Jean, who really know how to make cheese.
It started when I read a newspaper article about milking dairy goats and became enthused with the idea. My husband, Paul, calls it an obsession, but let's not nit-pick. Within months, I was the proud owner of a black and white ‘La Mancha’ doe, named 'McKenzie'. La Manchas have little tiny ears but they are excellent milkers. (except Saanens are better)
Soon after that, I persuaded Paul to drive to Ohio to purchase a small herd of thirty Saanen does and two bucks. Saanens originated in Switzerland and you may have read about them, in the classic story, Heidi. The following year we were accepted by the creamery to ship goats milk, and our new career took off.
Now, just four years later, we own 280 dairy goats. Only 170 are milking this year, but they produce over 1000 pounds of fresh goat’s milk each day. Every Wednesday and Sunday, a refrigerated truck pulls up next to our milk-house and empties our "bulk tank", where the milk is stored after each milking.
Next year, our yearling doelings will also begin milking and our pounds of milk produced each day will nearly double. About 560 baby goats will be born in the coming late winter/early spring here on Rainbow Gate Farm. I'm taking applications for anyone who wants to come help and experience life on a dairy-goat farm. Just kidding! (That is a baaaaad pun.)
Goat cheese is superb! Mt Chevre produces so many different varieties. Although I can buy it in our grocery stores, our milk-hauler also brings us cheese direct from the factory. There are soft cheeses blended with pepper, garlic and herbs and my favorite, cranberries! Spread on crackers, they are delicious. They also produce camembert cheese and a variety of hard cheeses. My husband loves feta and usually eats the entire slab before I can get it to the house.
People are amazed when I tell them we milk goats. Here in the United States, goat milk and its by-products are not widely recognized. World-wide, however, there is more goat’s milk and goat’s cheese consumed than cow’s milk. Did you know. . .
Bleeeaaat.
Hey what’s going on! Wait a minute! Get out of that chair! Give me back the mouse. . .
Okay, move over Jaaani. Hi folks. This is Louise, the Saaaaaanen doe. I can’t believe Jan is writing an article about our cheese without letting us goooooats have a say. After all, we’re the ones doing all the hard wooooork.
Hmm. I think she cooooovered most of it already. I've made a few corrections, so now, let me leave you with this little limerick about yours truly!
There was a young goat named Louise
Who produced an abundance of cheese
She became quite a star
Her fame spread so far
That her owners gave her all that she pleased!
When we untie Jan, it’ll be too late for her to change this. I’m going to post it right now. I’ve been listening to her all year rambling on about how much she loves writing on the computer, while she milks us. Now it’s our turn.
What’s that you say? Editing? She can edit this after it’s posted? Naaaaa, she won’t do that. We might all go on strike!
Don't blame her for the title. She had a really dull one posted that didn't mention my name. Siiillly giiiirrrl.
Goooood bbbbbyyyyyeeeee. Enjoy our cheeeesssseeeee!
Love,
Louise, the Saaaanen.
Goat cheese, please! Hot toasted cheese sandwiches; melted cheese on a baked potato; sliced cheddar cheese sandwich on fresh oven-baked bread. I’ve loved cheese since childhood. Blue cheese, camenbert, brie - I could go on and on. But I never imagined I would end up being a producer for one of the biggest goat-cheese factories in the United States, "Mt. Chevre Creamery," in Wisconsin. Mt Chevre is owned by two French brothers, Arnaud and Jean, who really know how to make cheese.
It started when I read a newspaper article about milking dairy goats and became enthused with the idea. My husband, Paul, calls it an obsession, but let's not nit-pick. Within months, I was the proud owner of a black and white ‘La Mancha’ doe, named 'McKenzie'. La Manchas have little tiny ears but they are excellent milkers. (except Saanens are better)
Soon after that, I persuaded Paul to drive to Ohio to purchase a small herd of thirty Saanen does and two bucks. Saanens originated in Switzerland and you may have read about them, in the classic story, Heidi. The following year we were accepted by the creamery to ship goats milk, and our new career took off.
Now, just four years later, we own 280 dairy goats. Only 170 are milking this year, but they produce over 1000 pounds of fresh goat’s milk each day. Every Wednesday and Sunday, a refrigerated truck pulls up next to our milk-house and empties our "bulk tank", where the milk is stored after each milking.
Next year, our yearling doelings will also begin milking and our pounds of milk produced each day will nearly double. About 560 baby goats will be born in the coming late winter/early spring here on Rainbow Gate Farm. I'm taking applications for anyone who wants to come help and experience life on a dairy-goat farm. Just kidding! (That is a baaaaad pun.)
Goat cheese is superb! Mt Chevre produces so many different varieties. Although I can buy it in our grocery stores, our milk-hauler also brings us cheese direct from the factory. There are soft cheeses blended with pepper, garlic and herbs and my favorite, cranberries! Spread on crackers, they are delicious. They also produce camembert cheese and a variety of hard cheeses. My husband loves feta and usually eats the entire slab before I can get it to the house.
People are amazed when I tell them we milk goats. Here in the United States, goat milk and its by-products are not widely recognized. World-wide, however, there is more goat’s milk and goat’s cheese consumed than cow’s milk. Did you know. . .
Bleeeaaat.
Hey what’s going on! Wait a minute! Get out of that chair! Give me back the mouse. . .
Okay, move over Jaaani. Hi folks. This is Louise, the Saaaaaanen doe. I can’t believe Jan is writing an article about our cheese without letting us goooooats have a say. After all, we’re the ones doing all the hard wooooork.
Hmm. I think she cooooovered most of it already. I've made a few corrections, so now, let me leave you with this little limerick about yours truly!
There was a young goat named Louise
Who produced an abundance of cheese
She became quite a star
Her fame spread so far
That her owners gave her all that she pleased!
When we untie Jan, it’ll be too late for her to change this. I’m going to post it right now. I’ve been listening to her all year rambling on about how much she loves writing on the computer, while she milks us. Now it’s our turn.
What’s that you say? Editing? She can edit this after it’s posted? Naaaaa, she won’t do that. We might all go on strike!
Don't blame her for the title. She had a really dull one posted that didn't mention my name. Siiillly giiiirrrl.
Goooood bbbbbyyyyyeeeee. Enjoy our cheeeesssseeeee!
Love,
Louise, the Saaaanen.
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